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3 Core Conditions for Therapeutic Change

3 Core Conditions for Therapeutic Change

The person-centered counseling approach was established in the 1940’s by humanistic psychologist, Carl Rogers. The goal of a person-centered therapy is to create the necessary conditions for clients to engage in meaningful self-exploration of their feelings, beliefs, behavior, and worldview, and to assist clients in their growth process, enabling them to cope with current and future problems.

A major concept of this approach is that people are generally trustworthy, resourceful, capable of self-understanding and self-direction, able to make constructive changes, and able to live effective and productive lives. Another key concept is that the attitudes and characteristics of the therapist, and the quality of the client-therapist relationship are prime determinants of the outcome of the therapeutic process.

Rogers maintains that therapists must have three attributes to create a growth-promoting climate in which individuals can move forward and become capable of becoming their true self: (1) congruence (genuineness or realness), (2) unconditional positive regard (acceptance and caring), and (3) accurate empathic understanding (an ability to deeply grasp the subjective world of another person).

1. CONGRUENCE (GENUINENESS)
Congruence refers to the therapist being real, authentic, and genuine with their clients. It’s called congruence because their inner experience and outward expression match. In being authentic, the therapist shows they are trustworthy, which helps in building a good therapeutic relationship with the client. It also serves as a model for clients, encouraging them to be their true selves, expressing their thoughts and feelings, without any sort of false front.

2. UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD and ACCEPTANCE
Unconditional positive regard means the therapist genuinely cares for their clients and does not evaluate or judge their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors as good or bad. Each client is accepted and valued for who they are, as they are, without stipulation. Clients need not fear judgment or rejection from the therapist.

3. ACCURATE EMPATHIC UNDERSTANDING
Accurate empathic understanding means that the therapist understands their client’s experience and feelings in an accurate and compassionate way. The therapist recognizes that each client’s experience is subjective and therefore strives to see things from the client’s unique perspective. An important part of accurate empathic understanding is for the therapist to convey that they “get it” by reflecting the client’s experience back to them. This encourages clients to become more reflective with themselves, which allows for greater understanding of themselves.

If you’ve ever had an experience where you felt like someone just really got you…they completely understood where you were coming from, or could truly relate to the way you felt – that’s accurate empathic understanding.

Rogers asserts that empathy helps clients (1) pay attention and value their experiencing; (2) see earlier experiences in new ways; (3) modify their perceptions of themselves, others, and the world; and (4) increase their confidence in making choices and pursuing a course of action. Jeanne Watson (2002) states that 60 years of research has consistently demonstrated that empathy is the most powerful determinant of client progress in therapy. She puts it this way:

“Therapists need to be able to be responsively attuned to their clients and to understand them emotionally as well as cognitively. When empathy is operating on all three levels – interpersonal, cognitive, and affective – it is one of the most powerful tools therapists have at their disposal.”

 

References:
1. Watson, J. C. (2002). Re-visioning empathy. In D. J. Cain (Ed.), Humanistic psychotherapies: Handbook of research and practice (pp. 445-471). American Psychological Association, Washington, DC.
2. Corey, Gerald. Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Belmont. Thomas Learning, Inc. 2005.

Ten Rules for Confidence

Ten Rules for Confidence

[from The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt, by Russ Harris]

Rule 1: The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later.
The concept of confidence is defined as “an act of trust or reliance” (trusting and relying on one’s abilities and competencies), rather than viewing confidence as “having a feeling of absolute certainty or assurance.” This is a better approach, because if you wait for the feelings of confidence to come before taking any sort of action, then there’s a chance you might end up waiting forever. That’s not very effective. Harris offers four steps to follow in order to become more confident in any action: (1) Practice the skills, (2) Apply them effectively, (3) Assess the results, and (4) Modify as needed.

Rule 2: Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear; it is a transformed relationship with fear.
People believe many myths about fear, such as: fear is a sign of weakness; fear is the enemy; fear holds you back; confidence is the absence of fear. But the truth is that when anyone steps out of their comfort zone, takes a risk, or faces a challenge, they will experience fear. That’s not a sign of weakness; it’s the natural human response. Fear doesn’t have to be viewed as an enemy, or something to hold you back, rather, it can be used as a motivating source of energy to be used for your benefit. It is not true that confident people don’t feel anxious or afraid, but perhaps they have figured out how to handle it and channel it effectively.

Rule 3: Negative thoughts are normal. Don’t fight them; defuse them.
Dealing with negative thoughts can be annoying, but the fact that we have them is actually a good thing! It’s a sign that our brains are working: trying to anticipate what could hurt us or harm us, trying to predict what might go wrong, etc. If your mind has negative or anxious thoughts, congratulations – you have a normal brain. Negative thoughts are not inherently problematic, they only become so if we get all caught up in them, give them all our attention, treat them as the gospel truth, allow them to control us, or get into a fight with them. The goal is defusion: separate from your thoughts and realize that they are simply words.

Rule 4: Self-acceptance trumps self-esteem.
Having high self-esteem means evaluating oneself positively. The trouble is that it gets hard to do this when one is not successful, or when one makes mistakes. On the other hand, self-acceptance means accepting oneself in spite of deficiencies. It involves letting go of all self-judgments. It doesn’t mean that we stop paying attention to the way we behave, and the impact of our actions; it simply means that we let go of blanket self-judgments. When we make a mistake, we reflect on it and assess our actions. Harris puts it well when he poses: “If beating ourselves for every mistake we make was productive, wouldn’t we all be perfect by now?”

Rule 5: Hold your values lightly, but pursue them vigorously.
Values are one’s guiding principles of behavior, according to what is important to them in life. Harris likens values to a compass: they give us direction, guide our journey, and help us stay on track. (Goals are what we want to achieve along the way). Examples of values include: adventure, authenticity, connection, contribution, courage, creativity, flexibility, honesty, humor, intimacy, open-mindedness, respect, self-awareness, spirituality, and trust. One reason to hold your values lightly is the tendency for them to turn into inflexible requirements, such as, “I must be adventurous at all times.” Remember, the goal is to live by guiding values, not rigid rules.

Rule 6: True success is living by your values.
This means using one’s values to set goals, and to sustain movement toward set goals. You don’t have to wait until you achieve a goal in order be successful; you can be successful right now through living by your values. Maybe a goal of yours is to become a doctor because you hold the value of helping others. It will take you several years to actually become a doctor, but you can do many things to help people along the way.

Rule 7: Don’t obsess about the outcome; get passionate about the process.
Process is the way you go about doing something, whereas outcome is the result of what you’ve done. The idea here is not to give up on your goal(s), but to shift the emphasis to engaging fully in the process, and embracing it as an opportunity for learning, rather than obsessing about the outcome.

Rule 8: Don’t fight your fear: allow it, befriend it, and channel it.
Russ Harris Speaks of using “The ABC of Fear-Whispering” for dealing with fear (A=allow, B=befriend, C=channel). Trying to fight against or avoid an emotion oftentimes just makes the unpleasant emotion stronger. So, instead of fighting your experience of fear, try simply allowing it to be. Harris encourages befriending one’s fear: building a positive relationship with it. You don’t necessarily have to like it, but haven’t you ever been friendly to a person whom you don’t necessarily like? It’s kind of like that. Also, fear is worth befriending if it helps you live by your values, achieve your goals, perform at your peak, and live a richer, more meaningful life. Fear is kind of like nervous energy, but it can be less scary if you frame it as feeling “excited” or “pumped” instead. Think to yourself, “How can I make good use of this energy? What can I channel it into?” Use your fear to your benefit. And remember, you can have fear and confidence at the same time. If you recall Rule 2: Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear, it is a transformed relationship with fear.

Rule 9: Failure hurts – but if you’re willing to learn, it’s a wonderful teacher.
In the words of John Dewey (American philosopher): “Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.” Just like fear, failure is a fact of life. It’s also a natural part of learning; we reflect on what didn’t work, and think about what might work better next time. It is productive to acknowledge what went “wrong,” while also appreciating what went well. It provides good feedback from which to learn!

Rule 10: The key to peak performance is total engagement in the task.
Peak performance requires practice, defusing from reasons not to do it, making room for discomfort or fear, and fully engaging in the process. The key to peak performance is having focused attention on the task at hand. This requires mindfulness: defusing from unhelpful thoughts, such as, what you look like, what others are thinking, judging your performance, thinking about past or future events, etc. While you can’t eliminate unhelpful thoughts or feelings, you can make space for them while remaining focused and engaged in what you are doing in the present moment. It is in this state of mindful, focused action that we perform at our best.