by Molly Pierce | May 29, 2015 | Anxiety Related, Self Image
The struggle of perfectionism is real. It’s alluring to think we can be perfect, quite tempting to think that we can be superhuman, that we can be exempt from making mistakes, However, this notion couldn’t be further from the truth!
There is no such thing as perfect. It doesn’t exist. Because it doesn’t actually exist, we all come up with different ideas of what we think perfect is…which makes it an OPINION.
Perfection is objective, ambiguous, illusory, and therefore unattainable. It’s simply a nonsensical pursuit.
However, if you find yourself in the perfectionist camp, here are some questions which may help to ask yourself in the midst of a perfection struggle:
- Will there be catastrophic consequences if this isn’t perfect?
- Will it be the end of the world?
- Will it result in serious injury or death?
- Will it matter five years from now?
If the answer is no, then say to yourself: “IT’S GOOD ENOUGH.” I know, this sounds ludicrous to you. Nothing, to the perfectionist, is ever good enough. But in reality, if you have answered “no” to the above questions, and if you have given it a good effort, then it is good enough.
Here are some examples to help you tell the difference:
If you are performing surgery on someone, then it’s fairly crucial to get it as close to perfect as possible. The reason why is that it could potentially be the difference between life and death.
On the other hand, if you’re styling your hair and displeased with how it looks…that’s too bad. However, there probably will not be any catastrophic consequences for not getting it just right. Also, your hair can’t really be “perfect” anyway, because there are so many differing opinions of what perfect hair is…because, if you recall, that’s exactly what “perfect” is: an opinion. Rather, lots of different opinions.
#ThoughtsOfARecoveringPerfectionist
by Molly Pierce | Oct 9, 2013 | Self Image
Perfectionism as a Roadblock to Productivity by James Ulrich
The truth behind the personality trait
Published on September 26, 2013 by James Ullrich, M.A. LMHCA in The Modern Time Crunch
Far from being a motivator for productivity, perfectionism (or more precisely, the byproducts of it) can be a debilitating pattern that inhibits healthy functioning.
Though it’s driven many of the great feats of art, science, and sports, it has driven many others to distraction and led to significant problems with beginning and finishing projects. One of the main roadblocks to productivity created by perfectionists is a tendency to procrastinate.
While procrastination is often confused with plain laziness, sometimes it is the byproduct of perfectionism. The daunting nature of the unrealistic goal of perfection can be so intimidating that it leads to a crippling fear of beginning. This is particularly true when one’s self-esteem is closely tied into (or contingent) upon success.
This tendency for perfectionists to yoke their sense of worth to the success of a project can be a prime driver of procrastination. It’s that fear of failure (and the ego-crushing that would inevitably result) that is powerful motivation for avoiding the situation altogether.
Falling short of an unreasonable goal too many times can lead to a sort of learned helplessness, i.e. “no matter what I do, it’s never quite good enough.” Disempowerment follows, which is another significant nail in the coffin of productivity—not perfectionism per se.
The best way to fight this self-reinforcing pattern of negativity is, of course, to water down the perfectionism and thus its unwelcome side effects. How? It’s simple: First, try beginning any project with a good-enough plan and a good-enough skill set. Remind yourself that you can always adjust your plan as you go along, and that you can always find a work-around or draft in help when you’re in over your head.
The important thing is beginning, taking the first steps of the journey. Only then you can develop momentum that can carry you along. Remember the Newtonian gravity rule that, “an object at rest tends to stay at rest”. This can help break through the icy barrier of anxiety that causes procrastination.
Second, decouple your performance from your sense of self-worth. One is not dependent on the other, and punishing yourself for failing to meet an unrealistic goal is simply counterproductive. Talking yourself into a very negative self-image as you castigate yourself is dangerous. Take a more holistic view of yourself and your role in life. Perspective is the key.
This is all easier said than done, and therapy can help.
With these initial steps, you can begin to better manage the anxiety and insecurity issues that drive procrastination and negative self-esteem, the insidious byproducts of perfectionism.
