by Molly Pierce | Dec 11, 2025 | Anxiety Related, Balance
The twinkling lights are up along Town Center Drive, the Park Place tree is glowing, and the scent of cinnamon and pine seems to follow you everywhere. Leawood in December is undeniably magical; but for many of us, that magic comes with a side of exhaustion, anxiety, and family tension that can feel anything but festive.
If you’re already counting down the days until January 2nd, you’re not alone. Holiday stress is real, and living in a beautiful, high-expectation community like Leawood can actually amplify it. Between neighborhood progressive dinners, school performances, corporate holiday parties, and the pressure to create “perfect” memories, it’s easy to feel like you’re running on fumes before the turkey is even carved.
At True Self Counseling, we see this every year. The phones start ringing in early November with clients who love the holidays in theory but feel overwhelmed in practice. The good news? You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through the season. Here are proven, practical ways to protect your peace while still enjoying everything Leawood has to offer.
1. Name It to Tame It
Anxiety loves secrecy. The moment you admit, “I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the expectations,” the grip loosens. Try saying it out loud to a trusted friend or even in the notes app on your phone. Naming the feeling is the first step to managing it.
2. Set Boundaries Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)
Leawood culture is wonderfully social, but saying “yes” to every cookie exchange, ugly sweater party, and HOA gathering can leave you depleted.
Practical scripts that actually work:
- “We’d love to see you, but we’re keeping weekends light this year so we can recharge. Can we plan a January brunch instead?”
- “I can only stay for an hour; I have an early morning commitment.” (You don’t owe anyone the details.)
- “We’re doing a smaller Christmas this year and focusing on experiences over gifts.”
Remember: Every “no” to someone else is a “yes” to your mental health.
3. Create a Stress Relief Menu
When you feel the tension rising, have a short list of immediate calming activities that are literally minutes from your doorstep:
- 15-minute mindful minutes on the Tomahawk Creek Trail (even when it’s cold; bundle up and notice the bare trees and quiet)
- A slow loop through the Gezer Park sculpture garden
- Window-shopping and people-watching at Park Place with a hot drink from Made in KC Café
- Sitting in your car in the quiet Ironwoods Park parking lot with your favorite playlist for 10 minutes between errands
These micro-doses of calm are often more effective than waiting for a full “self-care day” that never comes.
4. Use the “One In, One Out” Rule for Holiday Commitments
For every new event you add to the calendar, remove or delegate something else. Hosting the neighborhood party this year? Skip the office potluck. Volunteering at the Leawood Holiday Boutique? Let the kids pick one extracurricular to pause in December.
5. Practice the 4-7-8 Breath in the Town Center Plaza Parking Lot
Dr. Andrew Weil’s research-backed technique: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Do four rounds while sitting in your car after battling for a parking spot. It down-regulates your nervous system faster than venting to the group chat.
6. Reframe Family Tension Before It Starts
If certain relatives trigger you every year, have a plan:
- Decide in advance which topics are off-limits
- Use a neutral phrase like, “Let’s not go there tonight; tell me about your new puppy instead”
- Assign yourself a role that keeps you busy and away from hot-button conversations (official photographer, drink refiller, kid wrangler)
7. Anchor Yourself with a Daily 3-Minute Mindfulness Practice
Even on the busiest days, most of us can find three minutes. Try this practice:
Close your eyes and take three slow breaths. Then silently name:
- Name 3 things you can hear right now (maybe distant traffic on 135th, a neighbor’s wind chimes, your own heartbeat)
- Name 2 things you can smell (pine tree, coffee, cold air)
- Name 1 thing you’re grateful for in this moment
This tiny ritual brings you back to the present and reminds you that you’re safe, even when Aunt Karen is asking why you’re “still” single.
You Don’t Have to Do the Holidays Perfectly; Just Authentically
The most memorable moments in Leawood this season probably won’t be the perfectly decorated house or the flawless prime rib. They’ll be the quiet walk under the lights at Park Place with someone you love, or laughing with your kids as you burn the Christmas cookies together.
If the season still feels heavier than it should, that’s okay too. Reaching out for support isn’t a sign you’re failing at the holidays; it’s a sign you’re serious about enjoying them.
At True Self Counseling, we’re here through the entire season (yes, even the week between Christmas and New Year’s) for in-person sessions in Leawood or virtual if you’re traveling. Many of our clients find that just a session or two in November or December helps them stay grounded and actually look forward to the festivities.
You deserve a holiday season that feels as warm on the inside as Leawood looks on the outside.
Ready for extra support this season? Schedule a session today right here or call (913) 991-3974. Your future January self will thank you.
by Molly Pierce | Nov 20, 2025 | Anxiety Related, Confidence, Relationships
If you’re a parent in Leawood, Overland Park, or the greater Kansas City area, you’ve probably noticed your teen feeling more overwhelmed than ever. School pressure, social media, college prep, and the lingering effects of the pandemic have turned normal stress into daily anxiety for many adolescents.
The good news? You don’t have to fix it alone—and your teen doesn’t have to “just push through.” Two evidence-based therapies, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), are especially powerful for teens, and parents play a crucial supporting role in the process.
How CBT Helps Teens Rewire Anxious Thoughts CBT teaches teens to spot the automatic negative thoughts that fuel anxiety (“Everyone will laugh if I speak up in class” or “I’m going to fail this test and ruin my future”). Together with a therapist, they learn to challenge those thoughts with evidence and replace them with more balanced ones. Over just a few months, many Leawood-area teens notice they feel less paralyzed by worry and more capable of handling tests, friendships, and uncertainty.
How ACT Helps Teens Live Bigger Than Anxiety While CBT focuses on changing thoughts, ACT focuses on changing the relationship with thoughts and feelings. Teens learn mindfulness skills to notice anxiety without getting hooked by it, then clarify what truly matters to them—their values (being a supportive friend, pursuing music, standing up for what’s right)—and take small, brave steps in those directions even when anxiety shows up. The result? A life that feels meaningful instead of fear-driven.
Your Role as a Parent: Connection Over Correction Research shows teens do best when parents shift from “fix-it” mode to “coach-and-connect” mode. Simple, powerful actions include:
- Validating feelings without jumping to solutions (“That sounds really heavy. I’m here.”)
- Modeling healthy coping (your own deep breaths or short walks)
- Encouraging small value-based actions instead of avoidance
- Attending a few joint sessions so you understand the tools your teen is learning
At True Self Counseling in Leawood, we specialize in blending CBT and ACT for adolescents while actively involving parents when it’s helpful. Many families tell us the biggest relief is finally having a shared language and practical strategies that work both in sessions and at home.
If your teen is withdrawing, irritable, or struggling to sleep because of stress and anxiety, you don’t have to wait for it to “get bad enough.” Early support makes a huge difference.
We offer both in-person sessions in Leawood and virtual options for busy Kansas City-area families. Your teen deserves to feel capable and connected—and you deserve to feel like a confident, supported parent again.
Ready to get started? Call or message us—we can’t wait to help your family thrive. Schedule you first session today!
by Molly Pierce | Sep 1, 2016 | Anxiety Related, Balance, Counseling Theory, Depression
The goal of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is to create a rich, full, and meaningful life while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it. This is done by changing one’s relationship to their symptoms in order to live a more value-driven life. Further, the goal is to accept what is outsideof one’s control, and commit to taking action to enrich one’s life. It can be summed up in one basic premise: pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Oftentimes, trying to get rid of symptoms actually results in being more bothered by the symptoms. For example, try to not picture a pink elephant in your mind’s eye. What happened? You saw a pink elephant. This is just what happens when we try NOT to focus on any particular thing!
Being too focused on symptoms impacts our ability to life a value-driven life. We’re too busy and using all our energy on “symptom-reduction” rather than choosing to focus on what is meaningful in our lives, such as family, friends, relationships, advancing career, rest, self-care, and so forth. When we instead focus on our values, our symptoms can drift to the background, rather than take center stage.
ACT asserts that problems are essentially caused by two things: cognitive fusion and experiential avoidance. Cognitive fusion is when we become inseparable from our thoughts, and then our thoughts dominate our behavior. Experiential avoidance happens when we attempt to avoid, get rid of, suppress, or escape unwanted experiences (thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations, etc.).
Trying too hard to control how we feel simply gets in the way of a rich, full life. We can’t do important, value-driven things if we are always trying to get rid of symptoms. Control is the problem, not the solution.
What can we do about this? Practice defusion to get stuck from our thoughts and gain distance from them. Defusion is taking a step back and seeing our thoughts for what they are: nothing more or less than words and pictures. As I like to say, look AT your thoughts, rather than FROM your thoughts.
Here are some ways you can attempt to defuse from your thoughts:
- Say “I’m having the thought that…”
- Use a silly voice to say the thought
- Sing the thought like a song
- Repeat the thought nonstop for 30 seconds until it sounds like gibberish
Another way to defuse from unhelpful thoughts is to practice mindfulness. What is mindfulness? Mindfulness means paying attention with flexibility, openness, and curiosity. It allows you to be aware of your experience in the moment as opposed to being “caught up” in your thoughts. Mindfulness involves an attitude of openness; being curious about your experience rather than fighting with it. This is helpful because often times the more we try to fight the way we feel, the more we end up feeling it.
The goal of ACT is referred to as psychological flexibility, which entails being present, opening up, and doing what matters. An important facet of psychological flexibility is acceptance: allowing thoughts and feelings to be present, regardless of whether they are pleasant or painful.
The fun part of ACT (in my humble opinion) is valued living: doing what we want to be doing with our lives. What’s important to us? What do we want to stand for? How do we want to behave and act on a daily basis? Our values are our compass; they guide our decisions and behavior. A good way to figure out what your values are is to imagine your retirement party or funeral — Who would you want to speak about your life and what would you want to hear them say?
Once you have figured out what your values are, then final step is to take committed action (effective action motivated by your values). One helpful way to do this are to make a public commitment; tell someone about it. This will create some level of accountability for you. Another thing you can do is create an action plan worksheet. Last, but not least, simply take the first, tiniest step. The first step is often the hardest, but if you can manage to get started, the rest will follow.
For more on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, click here and here!
by Molly Pierce | Mar 16, 2016 | Anxiety Related, Balance, Counseling Theory, Depression, Relationships
Albert Ellis is known as the grandfather of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. He combined humanistic, philosophical, and behavioral therapy to form Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in 1955. A main assumption of REBT is that people contribute to their psychological problems by the way they interpret events. Further, our emotions stem mainly from our beliefs, evaluations, interpretations, and reactions to life situations. REBT assumes that cognitions (thoughts), emotions, and behaviors interact significantly and have a reciprocal cause-and-effect relationship. Additionally, REBT postulates that people are born with a potential for both rational and irrational thinking.
According to Ellis, we have an inborn tendency toward growth and actualization, yet we often sabotage our movement toward growth due to self-defeating patterns we have learned. We originally learn irrational beliefs from significant others during childhood, and we actively reinforce these self-defeating beliefs by repetition, and by behaving as if they are useful. But it is not useful to blame ourselves and others; instead, it is important that we learn how to accept ourselves despite our imperfections. Therefore, a major goal of REBT is to achieve unconditional self-acceptance and unconditional other acceptance; the more one is able to accept him or herself, the more likely he is to accept others.
The therapeutic process involves identifying irrational beliefs, and replacing such beliefs with more rational and effective ways of thinking. Changing one’s thinking results in changing one’s emotional reactions to situations. Ellis succinctly puts it this way, “You mainly feel the way you think.” Some examples of irrational beliefs that lead to self-defeat include: I must have the approval of all the people in my life, or else I am worthless. I must perform all tasks perfectly, or else I am a failure. It is better to avoid life’s difficulties than to try and end up looking foolish.
The A-B-C framework and method of disputing irrational beliefs is central to REBT theory and practice.
A = an event, behavior, or attitude
B = belief about the event
C = emotional & behavioral consequence or reaction (can be healthy or unhealthy)
D = disputing irrational or self-defeating beliefs
E = effective philosophy of replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones
F = a new set of healthy feelings
A (the activating event) does not cause C (the emotional consequence); rather, B (the person’s belief about the event) largely causes C. D is the application of methods to challenge irrational beliefs by detecting, debating, and discriminating irrational (self-defeating) beliefs from rational (self-helping) beliefs. E is the new and effective belief system that consists of replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones. In doing this, F (a new set of healthy feelings) is created.
In summary, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy entails the following steps: (1) acknowledge that we are largely responsible for our own emotional problems, (2) accept that we have the ability to change these disturbances significantly, (3) recognize that our emotional problems often stem from irrational beliefs, (4) accurately perceive these beliefs, (5) see the value of disputing such self-defeating beliefs, (6) accept that we need to counteract our dysfunctional beliefs/feelings/behaviors, and (7) practice these methods to improve current and future circumstances.
References:
Corey, Gerald. Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Belmont. Thomas Learning, Inc. 2005.
by Molly Pierce | Feb 20, 2016 | Anxiety Related, Balance, Confidence, Counseling Theory, Depression, Relationships, Self Image
The person-centered counseling approach was established in the 1940’s by humanistic psychologist, Carl Rogers. The goal of a person-centered therapy is to create the necessary conditions for clients to engage in meaningful self-exploration of their feelings, beliefs, behavior, and worldview, and to assist clients in their growth process, enabling them to cope with current and future problems.
A major concept of this approach is that people are generally trustworthy, resourceful, capable of self-understanding and self-direction, able to make constructive changes, and able to live effective and productive lives. Another key concept is that the attitudes and characteristics of the therapist, and the quality of the client-therapist relationship are prime determinants of the outcome of the therapeutic process.
Rogers maintains that therapists must have three attributes to create a growth-promoting climate in which individuals can move forward and become capable of becoming their true self: (1) congruence (genuineness or realness), (2) unconditional positive regard (acceptance and caring), and (3) accurate empathic understanding (an ability to deeply grasp the subjective world of another person).
1. CONGRUENCE (GENUINENESS)
Congruence refers to the therapist being real, authentic, and genuine with their clients. It’s called congruence because their inner experience and outward expression match. In being authentic, the therapist shows they are trustworthy, which helps in building a good therapeutic relationship with the client. It also serves as a model for clients, encouraging them to be their true selves, expressing their thoughts and feelings, without any sort of false front.
2. UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD and ACCEPTANCE
Unconditional positive regard means the therapist genuinely cares for their clients and does not evaluate or judge their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors as good or bad. Each client is accepted and valued for who they are, as they are, without stipulation. Clients need not fear judgment or rejection from the therapist.
3. ACCURATE EMPATHIC UNDERSTANDING
Accurate empathic understanding means that the therapist understands their client’s experience and feelings in an accurate and compassionate way. The therapist recognizes that each client’s experience is subjective and therefore strives to see things from the client’s unique perspective. An important part of accurate empathic understanding is for the therapist to convey that they “get it” by reflecting the client’s experience back to them. This encourages clients to become more reflective with themselves, which allows for greater understanding of themselves.
If you’ve ever had an experience where you felt like someone just really got you…they completely understood where you were coming from, or could truly relate to the way you felt – that’s accurate empathic understanding.
Rogers asserts that empathy helps clients (1) pay attention and value their experiencing; (2) see earlier experiences in new ways; (3) modify their perceptions of themselves, others, and the world; and (4) increase their confidence in making choices and pursuing a course of action. Jeanne Watson (2002) states that 60 years of research has consistently demonstrated that empathy is the most powerful determinant of client progress in therapy. She puts it this way:
“Therapists need to be able to be responsively attuned to their clients and to understand them emotionally as well as cognitively. When empathy is operating on all three levels – interpersonal, cognitive, and affective – it is one of the most powerful tools therapists have at their disposal.”
References:
1. Watson, J. C. (2002). Re-visioning empathy. In D. J. Cain (Ed.), Humanistic psychotherapies: Handbook of research and practice (pp. 445-471). American Psychological Association, Washington, DC.
2. Corey, Gerald. Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Belmont. Thomas Learning, Inc. 2005.
by Molly Pierce | Feb 18, 2016 | Anxiety Related, Balance, Confidence, Relationships, Self Image
I recently came across Elbert Hubbard’s essay on “Mental Attitude” in a book I was reading, and I enjoyed it so much that I wanted to share it with others. For me, it speaks an optimistic message of how having the right combination of self-confidence, courage, and determination will lead you to success. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every hand-clasp.
Do not fear being misunderstood, and never waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do, and then without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal.
Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do; and then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes form the running tide the elements it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual.
Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude – the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire, and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high.
Works Cited:
Knox, George. Thoughts That Inspire. Des Moines. Personal Help Publishing Co. 1906.
Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends & Influence People. New York. Simon and Schuster, Inc. 1981.
